Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
