I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
