Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
