I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
