Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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