So drunk its hurt
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize