# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
