Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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