Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
