if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
two words...techno handjob
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
