So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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