This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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