$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
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there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
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I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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