Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It's never too late to be topless.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Come on in and take your pants off
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