Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
