I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize
