its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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