it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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