dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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