I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
