You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
