Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Damn victory sex feels great
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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