Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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