i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
