He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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