Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
