its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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