I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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