You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
