if i can run in heels then i can drive
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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