Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
