the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
