I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
porn star boner night. come get it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
