Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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