Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
