He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
