First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
