i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
