Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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