I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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