i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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