is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
