i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
