Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
