He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
