Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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