I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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