Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
