OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
