i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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