He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
