Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
