Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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