if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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