Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
