I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
