How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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