Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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