I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
