You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I could fuck to npr.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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